Moms of Boys

Internet Meeting Place

Advice from Moms with Grown Sons

“I am past my tumultuous years of raising four sons, and now onto 3 grandsons and finally a granddaughter. I have commented on your article to my friends, and I discovered more mothers-grandmothers of boys coming out of the woodwork. It was always a comradeship with ANYONE I met who was a mother of 4 boys, as in instant recognition. Good luck to your endeavor and try not to look at mothers of girls with envy. I found it easier to deal with boys than mothers did with girls – different problems but easier on me, particularly during the teenage years. Take heart! It’s the Dad who catches it as they grow older. Good luck and thanks for keeping me advised.”

This next woman has three grown sons in their 40s and an adopted daughter in her thirties. However, the testosterone still flows thick because she now has five wonderful grandsons.

She wrote, “Remind the mothers in your club to love and cherish every day with the boys because the day is coming when you will have to share them with another woman. A mother of sons walks a thin line sometimes. I wish your club had been around in my day.”

The next Mother offering words of advice has 7 grown sons (4 biological sons and 3 stepsons raised in the same house):

“My boys are all grown now, and I cannot believe that I came through this journey. It’s a unique position, being the only female in a house chock full of males. And, yes, there were times when I missed having a daughter, but I will state this right now: I would not change a thing – I would not trade any of my sons for all the daughters in the world! I have strong bonds with all seven boys. I learned so much from them and it made me a stronger person. Example: When the testosterone kicks in, they find it amusing to show off their new-found strength. I would usually be the target, and I would find myself being hoisted in the air or strong-armed in some wrestling match. So I started going to the gym. Hey! I had to get through 7 boys! . . . Your house might seem one endless noisefest right now, but believe me, you will miss it when they are on their own. It’s nice to have them back – in small doses of course!”

“Having grown up in a house of girls, I had a new world open up to me with a husband and three very different boys who all became Eagle Scouts. They are grown now, living and working in different places. I taught them to do the same things I would have girls – informing them that nobody was supposed to wait on them. We talk frequently. I do recall the challenges of being a mother in a male’s world, but I made a lot of effort to bond with female friends. . . . At this time, I treasure the love of 4 males so I am very fortunate. My husband passed away 2 years ago so the treasure is now more valuable. I hope you get a good response from your article. Moms need to be affirmed and encouraged. This ability can be learned by anyone but does not come easy for most men. Thank you for recognizing the differences. Balance is important in any household.”

I am the mother of 3 grown sons, all doing well. I am their mother forever! They call for advice all the time. Each is an individual and each requires a different kind of response to a similar question. Your idea for a mom of boys club is a great idea. My support came from 2 mothers of boys. There were 8 boys among us. We had similar ideas about raising them even though we also had vastly different outlooks on political and social issues. It gave us all depth in understanding, and it has carried over to the boys’ lives now. I wouldn’t take a million dollars for the relationships that came from the experience.”

I’m the mother of 2 sons (quite grown, now) and grandmother of 5 grandsons. And, although each is truly wonderful, there was a light at the tunnel: I’m also the grandmother of 2 granddaughters. Man –oh-Man are they different! When my husband looks at me quizzically and expresses in true bafflement: “What are they doing and why?”, I carefully and unpatronizingly (of course), explain that they are being girls. They love pink, dress-up, fairy princesses, and dresses. I buy a ridiculous number of clothes and items for doll houses. The 2 girls are siblings and the 5 boys are siblings. I’ve sent your article and Web site to my wonderful daughter-in-law; years ago, a piece of advice I handed on to her was to consider herself “THE QUEEN,” as it is one way to rise above feeling as if you live (and you do) in the middle of a male locker room! For our youngest son, who’s the father of girls, I wonder if there should be a similar organization of DOGS: Dads of Girls!!”

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