“I am past my tumultuous years of raising four sons, and now onto 3
grandsons and finally a granddaughter. I have commented on your article
to my friends, and I discovered more mothers-grandmothers of boys
coming out of the woodwork. It was always a comradeship with ANYONE I
met who was a mother of 4 boys, as in instant recognition. Good luck to
your endeavor and try not to look at mothers of girls with envy. I
found it easier to deal with boys than mothers did with girls –
different problems but easier on me, particularly during the teenage
years. Take heart! It’s the Dad who catches it as they grow older. Good
luck and thanks for keeping me advised.”
This next woman has three grown sons in their 40s and an adopted
daughter in her thirties. However, the testosterone still flows thick
because she now has five wonderful grandsons.
She wrote, “Remind the mothers in your club to love and cherish
every day with the boys because the day is coming when you will have to
share them with another woman. A mother of sons walks a thin line
sometimes. I wish your club had been around in my day.”
The next Mother offering words of advice has 7 grown sons (4 biological sons and 3 stepsons raised in the same house):
“My boys are all grown now, and I cannot believe that I came through
this journey. It’s a unique position, being the only female in a house
chock full of males. And, yes, there were times when I missed having a
daughter, but I will state this right now: I would not change a thing –
I would not trade any of my sons for all the daughters in the world! I
have strong bonds with all seven boys. I learned so much from them and
it made me a stronger person. Example: When the testosterone kicks in,
they find it amusing to show off their new-found strength. I would
usually be the target, and I would find myself being hoisted in the air
or strong-armed in some wrestling match. So I started going to the gym.
Hey! I had to get through 7 boys! . . . Your house might seem one
endless noisefest right now, but believe me, you will miss it when they
are on their own. It’s nice to have them back – in small doses of
course!”
“Having grown up in a house of girls, I had a new world open up to
me with a husband and three very different boys who all became Eagle
Scouts. They are grown now, living and working in different places. I
taught them to do the same things I would have girls – informing them
that nobody was supposed to wait on them. We talk frequently. I do
recall the challenges of being a mother in a male’s world, but I made a
lot of effort to bond with female friends. . . . At this time, I
treasure the love of 4 males so I am very fortunate. My husband passed
away 2 years ago so the treasure is now more valuable. I hope you get a
good response from your article. Moms need to be affirmed and
encouraged. This ability can be learned by anyone but does not come
easy for most men. Thank you for recognizing the differences. Balance
is important in any household.”
I am the mother of 3 grown sons, all doing well. I am their mother
forever! They call for advice all the time. Each is an individual and
each requires a different kind of response to a similar question. Your
idea for a mom of boys club is a great idea. My support came from 2
mothers of boys. There were 8 boys among us. We had similar ideas about
raising them even though we also had vastly different outlooks on
political and social issues. It gave us all depth in understanding, and
it has carried over to the boys’ lives now. I wouldn’t take a million
dollars for the relationships that came from the experience.”
I’m the mother of 2 sons (quite grown, now) and grandmother of 5
grandsons. And, although each is truly wonderful, there was a light at
the tunnel: I’m also the grandmother of 2 granddaughters. Man –oh-Man
are they different! When my husband looks at me quizzically and
expresses in true bafflement: “What are they doing and why?”, I
carefully and unpatronizingly (of course), explain that they are being
girls. They love pink, dress-up, fairy princesses, and dresses. I buy a
ridiculous number of clothes and items for doll houses. The 2 girls are
siblings and the 5 boys are siblings. I’ve sent your article and Web
site to my wonderful daughter-in-law; years ago, a piece of advice I
handed on to her was to consider herself “THE QUEEN,” as it is one way
to rise above feeling as if you live (and you do) in the middle of a
male locker room! For our youngest son, who’s the father of girls, I
wonder if there should be a similar organization of DOGS: Dads of
Girls!!”
