Moms of Boys

A few days before Christmas, I was quite excited when all three of my boys, ages 20, 17, and 11, said they wanted to go to the outlet mall with me, which was a 30 minute drive up the Interstate from our house. The mall is relatively new, and none of us had been there before. I envisoned us getting there early and shopping for a least several hours before going to a sit-down restaurant for a late lunch. I had friends who went shopping with their daughters, and now, finally, thanks to the Polo and Nike outlets promising holiday deals --- I was going to have a shopping day with my boys.

The Polo outlet indeed proved very popular with my boys. They each picked out a few things for Christmas, and then we moved over to the Nike outlet where we bought several more items. But then I saw the Coach store where they sell designer handbags, and I thought perhaps one of those might make a good gift for my mother-in-law. We are not the designer handbag type, but I thought perhaps she might like to have one. And the place was having a 30% off sale on top of already half off prices. I went into the store, as my boys sat down outside to wait. The place was packed! I saw the purse I wanted to get her right away, and then I got in line -- a long line -- to pay.  After about five minutes, my youngest son came inside to see what was taking so long. I told him it would be a while and for them to go look around at some more stores and I'd meet them later. Soon after that, my middle son came in and asked for the car keys -- they were going to wait in the car. Well, at least my oldest son might still want to do some shopping. Ten minutes late I was done in the line and called my oldest, who was also in the car.  They were ready to go!  THAT was our shopping day??  Not exactly what I'd envisioned -- but at least I still had lunch to look forward to with my guys. One of them suggested we just go through a drive-thru, and I yelled, "No way! We are going to eat in a sit-down restaurant because I don't ever get to go anywhere with all 3 of you anymore, and I've been looking forward to this!"  They all exchanged glances. My oldest said, "Okay, Mom, okay." like he was afraid I was about to go over the edge. 

 Polo is having another sale near Valentine's Day, and I already have it on my calendar. I will try again to have a shopping day with my sons. 

      I was driving my 11-year-old son to baseball practice last week when I noticed him staring at me from the front passenger seat. I glanced over at him. "What?"

      "Nothing," he said and looked ahead at the road.

      "What?" I asked again.

      He hesitated a moment. "Well, you've got lines right here," he told me, pointing to the corner of his eye.

      Oh, yes, that was just what I needed to hear that day.  "Thanks, Jason," I replied, sighing. "You do know those are just wrinkles, right?"  He looked panicked for a second.   "That's okay. I know they're there."

      "I just never noticed them before, mom."  I nodded. Good God, I guess the wrinkle fairy had paid me a visit during the previous night, leaving one of those little things that just pop up on your face out of nowhere as you get older. 

      I drove on in silence, thinking that with college and braces to pay for there was no way I could affort Botox or Juvederm.  "You still look beautiful though," Jason said.  Amused by the obvious heartfelt effort he was making, I smiled at him -- probably creating more wrinkles just in that one facial movement. But it was worth it. 

      "Thanks, buddy."

Here's the youtube link to my son David's end of summer baseball DVD. American Legion team, came in third in the state of NC. Almost won it all - just two runs short. Still a great season! I'm especially proud of David battling what he had to during this time and still hitting .408 and getting the Defensive Player of the Year award. Pure determination and lots of prayer!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AM4Z5y-Bnfc

In my blog post in May, I mentioned that my teenage son was having trouble with anxiety. Unfortunately, those problems continue. I cannot begin to tell you all the ups and downs we have been on with this anxiety roller coaster since last fall, but suffice to say that it is hell. It is hell to see my healthy, handsome, smart, athletic, friendly son say that he doesn't have any hope. It is hell to think everything is going okay again and before you can turn around, it's going bad once more.  I can never take a breath and relax because I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak, for the next thing to happen, the next trigger to start him on a downward spiral. Right now, he's doing okay, and I finally decided to write a little something about this. There is so much in me that I need to get out, but I will settle for expressing just a little of it because I don't have the time to write it all down. I haven't written in a while. Hell, I'm surprised I remembered my password to get on this blog. Yes, it's written down somewhere on this desk, but I don't have the energy or time to look for it. 

Yes, it's been awhile again . . . hope everyone is doing well and so are all those BOYS of yours.  My middle son (junior in high school) has been going through some anxiety off and on since November, and it has really been a struggle.  Things got better and then it the anxiety hit again.  He is doing okay right now, but it is a scary thing to go through.  I've become aware of how prevalent anxiety is in teens, and it is very troublesome to me. Hope to get back to my 'regular' life soon. In the meantime, if any of you have ever had struggles in your family with anxiety, I'd be grateful if you were to share your advice/experience with me.