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What to do with behavior?

 
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lbroaddus



Joined: 27 May 2011
Posts: 4
Location: Pennsylvania

PostPosted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 9:25 pm    Post subject: What to do with behavior? Reply with quote

I am kinda at my wits end right now. My son is 4, turning 5 next month and he has a really hard time with listening to what he is told. If I see him doing something he isn't supposed to be doing I tell him not to do it and explain to him why he isn't allowed to do it, then 5 minutes later he will do it again. For example climbing his dresser, jumping off furniture or the one that bothers me most, talking to complete strangers. I have tried time out, sitting down and talking to him, reward charts, taking things when he doesn't listen and I even had his pediatrician talk to him at his last checkup. It seems like he goes through spells where at times he is doing really good then he will do a complete turn around and not listen to anything I say. I am trying to find new ways to handle this so any advice will be greatly appreciated.
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jenrichichi



Joined: 14 Aug 2011
Posts: 3
Location: Philadelphia

PostPosted: Tue Aug 16, 2011 2:50 pm    Post subject: Same Problem. Reply with quote

I am having exactly the same problems with my boys (ages 4 & 7). You tell them something and 5 mins later it was like you were talking to a brick wall. I have also started experiencing major talk back to us and wondered where this was coming from - we tried everything as punishment - putting in room, taking away toys etc. Nothing seems to work. Suddenly a few days ago my 7 year old said something inappropriate (can't exactly remember what it was) and I asked him where he learned that and his answer was "SpongeBob". Now I am wondering if this is an appropriate program for them to be watching. Anyway, I'm in the same boat, if anyone can give an suggestions on boys listening. Thanks so much and thanks for originally posting this - you are definitely not alone!
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4farmboys



Joined: 24 Apr 2011
Posts: 9

PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2011 6:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm not sure if this will help, but when my 2 oldest boys were little I was very frustrated with the bad attitudes and behavior. I started a bad attitude jar and each time they displayed a bad attitude they had to deposit a quarter into the jar, I can't really remember all the elements of it but it seemed to work. Maybe they got a quarter back for good behavior or maybe they started with so many quarters a week and then kept the ones that did not end up in the jar.

On another note, I recently started a simular intervention with all 4 boys, but we use marbles instead of quarters. I ws really frustrated because my boys are slobs and it has gone on way too long. I'm tired of being the maid and being angry. So a few weeks ago after I could no longer handle my messy house and mediocre help, we started marble jars. The kids lost all electronic entertainment and could only get it back after earning 10 marbles. They earn marbles by helping around the house and keeping their spaces and the family space clean. But earning marbles is not easy and it requires more than mediocre work, plus they have to have positive attitudes or no marble. It took them 6 days to each earn 10 marbles. I tell you what, I did not even have to ask and dishes were done, clothes folded, rooms cleaned, they even cleaned the bathroom!!! Now they must maintain 10 marbles to keep their electronic entertainment. I take marbles away for messy rooms, things left out, etc.... It seems to be working and the great thing is, I don't ever have to raise my voice, I just remove a marble.

Maybe you can find something there to help with the attitude problem. Best of luck.

Carrie
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Tav Mom



Joined: 08 Mar 2008
Posts: 386
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Sat Sep 03, 2011 6:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think it's a boy thing. Really. All my boys were that way with focus and listening. I don't think that their intent is to be bad. I think that they see something fun.

'And why not, let's do it. I haven't gotten hurt yet. Besides, it's too much fun!'

I always have to look at things from their point of view and then I GET it. Boys are good, they just do what is fun. What has been working for us is explaining. Over and over and over. And tell them the truth.

'Hey, you know why mommy doesn't want you to climb the dresser? It scares mommy. I'm afraid you could get hurt. Do you think you can climb something a bit safer? Hey, let me help you find something.'


About the talking back. I haven't come across that yet. But, if they say rude things or mean things to each other then I ask them to respect each other. They certainly wouldn't want someone to talk to them like that. So, don't talk to anyone else like that.

HTH. It seems to work in our house.
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Marianna



Joined: 06 Oct 2011
Posts: 5
Location: Alabama, US

PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2011 6:37 pm    Post subject: GREAT IDEA!!! THANX BUNCHES!!!!!! Reply with quote

4farmboys wrote:
I'm not sure if this will help, but when my 2 oldest boys were little I was very frustrated with the bad attitudes and behavior. I started a bad attitude jar and each time they displayed a bad attitude they had to deposit a quarter into the jar, I can't really remember all the elements of it but it seemed to work. Maybe they got a quarter back for good behavior or maybe they started with so many quarters a week and then kept the ones that did not end up in the jar.

On another note, I recently started a simular intervention with all 4 boys, but we use marbles instead of quarters. I ws really frustrated because my boys are slobs and it has gone on way too long. I'm tired of being the maid and being angry. So a few weeks ago after I could no longer handle my messy house and mediocre help, we started marble jars. The kids lost all electronic entertainment and could only get it back after earning 10 marbles. They earn marbles by helping around the house and keeping their spaces and the family space clean. But earning marbles is not easy and it requires more than mediocre work, plus they have to have positive attitudes or no marble. It took them 6 days to each earn 10 marbles. I tell you what, I did not even have to ask and dishes were done, clothes folded, rooms cleaned, they even cleaned the bathroom!!! Now they must maintain 10 marbles to keep their electronic entertainment. I take marbles away for messy rooms, things left out, etc.... It seems to be working and the great thing is, I don't ever have to raise my voice, I just remove a marble.

Maybe you can find something there to help with the attitude problem. Best of luck.

Carrie
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martinjames



Joined: 21 Dec 2011
Posts: 1
Location: Pangasinan

PostPosted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 12:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would say that those ages are those stages kids get stubborn. It is where they explore many things in life and curious to what they don't know. I myself got a hard time to deal with my son. At first, I thought he has ADHD due to his hyper activity but the doctor says it's not, this is more on the mental state of mind of a child that they always encounter.

It's not easy to deal with those kids but be more patient and understand.
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JHONMIKES



Joined: 27 Feb 2012
Posts: 2

PostPosted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 2:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This post was very nicely written and it also contains many useful facts i enjoyed your way of writing this post thanks you have made it very easy for me to understand.

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