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Boys in the neighborhood of girls

 
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Alma



Joined: 24 Feb 2012
Posts: 2
Location: California

PostPosted: Fri Feb 24, 2012 2:58 pm    Post subject: Boys in the neighborhood of girls Reply with quote

Hi, I was very glad to find this website. I have 3 boys ages 9, 7 and almost 1. We live in nice and quiet neighborhood. I am so happy that I am able to let my older boys to let ride biks on the sidewalks, while sit in front of my home an stay with the baby. I used to enjoy watching them play nicely (I thought so) with the girls in the neighborhood. Every time some little girl would complain about my boys not being careful, I would be firm with my boys ant tell them to be extra careful and nice with the girls. Now two other moms started to complain, that they don't like the way my boys are playing with their girls. I talled them I will do somethink about that. To tell you the truth I don't think they misbehave. They are just being boys. Lilttle ruffer, little faster and so on. I wish there would be other boys for them to play. I will not and I don't want to change their nature, but I don't want them to be outcasted from the girls-dominated (but ours too) street. I don't want them to feel punished by making them to stay just in front of our home. At the same time I don't want to get in arguments with neighbors. I try to invite their friends from their school, but that has to be arranged. My boys are not welcome anymore to their street group, I think, just because they are boys. I don't want them to start feeling bad just because they are boys. What do you think I should do? Thank you.
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MNGal



Joined: 11 Apr 2012
Posts: 2

PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 2:01 pm    Post subject: Too many girls Reply with quote

I know what you mean. I have 3 boys (ages 5, 3, & 6 months) & we live in a VERY female dominant neighborhood.

There are 2 girls who live next door & when the grand daugthers of the other neighbor come over, well, then it's for girls only. Once the grand daughter's male cousins came over too. Then the excuse was it was "only for girls & cousins."

They do this all the time. The girls can play rough- beat each other up, call each other names, take toys away from one another, but heaven forbid if my son looks at these girls the wrong way. Then they run home crying & telling their moms that my son was "being mean to them." I saw one of the little girls once haul off & punch the other in the back about 10 times- & that didn't seem to bother them.

Interesting how that works, huh?
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Alma



Joined: 24 Feb 2012
Posts: 2
Location: California

PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 2:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear MNGal, I totally understand what you feel. I was at that stage couple of months ago. I’m sure that mood will visit me once in a while again, but I promised to myself – I want let it completely destroy my life, my family’s life, my health! I have no other choice, but to be strong! It is how it is and it will stay that way. We want try for one more. So I can either be sad for the rest of my life or can make the best of it. That was the moment! But no matter what somebody told to me, no matter how good their advice was, I myself had to grow up to it. I did put Proud Mother of Sons (not Mother of boys) hat. From then on any time somebody tries to feel sorry for me for not having any girls I try to react in a positive way and don’t let them hurt me. I would say something like “Yah, I am the queen of the house!”, or “that’s right, I don’t need to deal with so much crying and winning!” Then I try to add some of my sons’ accomplishment. How well they are doing at their activities. How helpful they are. How strong characters they have - that definitely will help them later on in life and so on.
Now let’s talk about neighbors. At first I felt such a victim of the circumstances and felt a lot of pity for myself. Of course people can sense that and they would treat me the same way. But now I realized I am the boss for myself, my life and my circumstances. Yah, to bad there are no other boys around, but I will not sit down and wait until some family with the boys will move in. I started inviting more of their friends (boys) over. It is extra work for me, but that’s what I have to do! What if there would be no kids at all on the street and only peace and quiet loving grannies Smile. I had a talk with my boys and realized that they didn’t even like the neighbors’ girls… That gave me a lot of strength and I realized they stayed with the girls only out of desperation just to be with someone. But they deserve better! They deserve the friends who respect them and want to be with them too. So now I wear my pride hat. If the girls want come over and play I can find a very polite excuse why they can’t. I still stay very politically correct with the neighbors, but eventually they will get that their “vulnerable” girls are not welcome at our proud boys place!!!!! Couple months ago that didn’t seem to be possible, but now I’m truly proud of my Sons and their friends (boys). I definitely will do my best to help them realize who their true friends are and with whom they shouldn’t waste their time. Afterall better no friends than any. There are so many other thinks to do. We shouldn't focus just around social life.
I hope this will help you. If not than just hang in there you will definitely find a positive outcome of your own. Believe in yourself and be strong! You’re not alone!
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