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mel



Joined: 13 Nov 2007
Posts: 34
Location: Philadelphia

PostPosted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 11:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Of course you're grieving for the daughter you'll never have. It's natural and normal and I think it's great you can admit your feelings and be able to work through them. So many moms of boys kid themselves that it's all fun and games and I just don't think that's it healthy to deny a very natural grief. And grief for the child you imagined doesn't have anything to do with the love you feel for the child you have.

I also looked forward to sharing special mother daughter things and never for a minute dreamed I would have boys. I think it probably gets easier with time, but will probably always make me sad. Maybe you can at least share some of the wonderful things about being a woman with your sister?

Raising boys is so tough! They are strange, alien things and can be really hard to live with. I never had brothers - or even sisters - so it's especially tough for me. But they are also fragile, sensitive little creatures who need their mothers desperately. At least until they meet a girl and leave us! But let's try not to worry about that yet.
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Granola



Joined: 31 Jan 2007
Posts: 314

PostPosted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 3:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

....Sabrina, we will take what we are given. I know you are looking forward to the birth of this wonderful baby boy. Smile I think that the fact that your mother died so young is having a very large impact on you, with not having a girl. I have three grown son's and sometimes, when I read here, I come to tears, because the "baby years" are gone. Sad They are 32, 29, and 27. I think back on the days I hung those diapers on the closeline, vist's to the dr. in the night, etc. Please relish the days you have with them. NO condemnation about your feelings about not having a girl, just try to be joyous in the moment Smile ((((hugs))))
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Granola



Joined: 31 Jan 2007
Posts: 314

PostPosted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 3:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

....Mel, mine HAVE left and there is nothing on this earth that hurts as worse than your son leaving you. A daughter? She doesn't leave. I'm close to two of my son's but it's not the same realtionship as with a daughter. There is absolutely nothing girly girl about me, that's why God in His/Her infinite wisdom gave my sons, LOL!!! I would not have made a good role modle for a girl! They were not tough to raise. We had a ball!! I caoched all of them in soccer in middle school. Followed them through their soccer years in high school. Loaded my van with teenagers and went to concerts all over NC. I "raised" several of their friends as well, never knew who was going to be in my house when I woke uip, LOL!! As hard as it is to have to had kiss them goodbye, knowing the outcome, as they are boys, it was worth it. Not saying they are "gone" completely, just saying, with a girl it's different.
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Tav Mom



Joined: 08 Mar 2008
Posts: 386
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 11:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Granola wrote:
....Mel, mine HAVE left and there is nothing on this earth that hurts as worse than your son leaving you. A daughter? She doesn't leave. I'm close to two of my son's but it's not the same realtionship as with a daughter. There is absolutely nothing girly girl about me, that's why God in His/Her infinite wisdom gave my sons, LOL!!! I would not have made a good role modle for a girl! They were not tough to raise. We had a ball!! I caoched all of them in soccer in middle school. Followed them through their soccer years in high school. Loaded my van with teenagers and went to concerts all over NC. I "raised" several of their friends as well, never knew who was going to be in my house when I woke uip, LOL!! As hard as it is to have to had kiss them goodbye, knowing the outcome, as they are boys, it was worth it. Not saying they are "gone" completely, just saying, with a girl it's different.

Oh, Granola! I would really love to meet you someday! I would love to be 1/2 the mom that you are!!

Jon and I have a plan about the boys moving. We are going to buy 6 acres of land and when the boys get older they each get an acre to build their houses on for their families. Then they can't leave...right?! Smile
_________________
~Kathy, mom to:
Connor-4/02
Aiden-1/04
Keegan-7/06
Tarik- 7/08
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Broucehu



Joined: 31 Aug 2012
Posts: 1

PostPosted: Fri Aug 31, 2012 3:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow, so amazing! I want U more...

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