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Winning the hearts of our sons.

 
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mamaD



Joined: 12 Feb 2013
Posts: 3
Location: USA

PostPosted: Tue Feb 12, 2013 9:15 pm    Post subject: Winning the hearts of our sons. Reply with quote

When I first began to have children I had an attitude that somehow it was my "right" to have them. As time passed, and more began to come, I began to realize that it was not my "right" to have children, but a privilege. With this new understanding, my attitude on how I raised them also began to change. It became clear to me that I needed to have a focus, and use my position of influence in my (in my case) son's lives to intentionally study them and learn how to win their hearts. In all the rowdiness that comes with a house full of sons, it was easy to focus on outward "control" without actually getting to their hearts. I asked myself, "Do I want my sons to obey and do what I ask out of fear of punishment, or out of their love for me, because I have loved them well?" As I changed, life went from not merely outward control to their own inward control. Sounds easy? It was not! I had to change a lot, in many ways, at times, through excruciating experiences. Moms out there, I would go through all the pain of change again, because I am blessed with nine, imperfect, but loving sons.
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mootchie



Joined: 13 Jun 2013
Posts: 1
Location: East London, South Africa

PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 5:12 am    Post subject: Thank you! Reply with quote

Hi there,

I just joined this forum thanks to your post! I have three boys of my own, and understood what you mean about our perceptions of having kids. I know my perception is currently wrong.... very wrong!

I would like to ask you if you could share with me how you have managed to change that perception? I know that I need to do it, and very soon at that too, but I don't know where to start. Things are falling apart between me and my boys, and I don't like it. I feel like I am becoming a bad mother...

I really would appreciate some advice!

Thanks!
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mbetter95



Joined: 08 Oct 2013
Posts: 1

PostPosted: Tue Oct 08, 2013 4:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would say find a way for them to release the pent up energy. And then talk with them. I find that that works with my 4.
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