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I hate mothers with girls!
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erinmcs



Joined: 19 Jun 2008
Posts: 13

PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 12:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's a great story mom3boys - thanks for sharing. I'm currently pregnant with my 4th boy, and in that "raw" phase, where it's too hard to look at cute little girls, and I analyze every family I see wondering why they get to have 1 of each sex and I don't. Actually, during the day when I'm playing with my 3 boys, I'm really excited for another boy, it's at night when I'm laying there that I replay the scene with US tech, only this time she's saying "it's a girl", and I imagine telling all my friends/family, and dream about how I'll decorate the nursery, etc. I know once I meet him it'll be love at first sight, and I'll regret any "girl" wishes I had. I think your story really hit home, and I appreciate you sharing!
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3BOYMOMMY



Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Posts: 119

PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 3:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That story is amazing and gets to the root of those feelings! As my baby boy #3 is blossoming into a toddler, I know that my life would be empty without him in it!
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3monkeezmom



Joined: 06 Jul 2008
Posts: 6
Location: michigan

PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 9:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I felt like someone had read my thoughts when I read this post. I too can't help but wonder what it would be like to buy a pink dress. I'll never forget that my first breakdown after I found out that our 3rd baby was a boy was in The Children's Place. Looking around & seeing the too cute girl dresses next to the same old boy vests & shirts brought me to hysterical sobbing in the middle of the store. But, I often think about all of the money I have saved Smile. I too have felt judged by moms who only have girls & I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have little girls quietly coloring instead of boys chasing each other around with play guns. However, I know that my life would not be complete without them & I wouldn't trade my boys for girls if I could. Besides, every time I've had to emergently use a plastic bottle for one of my boys to go potty in the car, I think "Thank God I have boys!"

Carrie
Mommy to:
Noah 7/02
Gavin 10/04
Landon 8/07
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skilleffer



Joined: 08 Jul 2008
Posts: 1

PostPosted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 3:18 pm    Post subject: Mom of 4 boys and having a girl Reply with quote

Hi ladies,
I just read a lot of your posts. I can definitely relate to the active nature of little boys! I love it though! My guys are so much fun as well as frustrating at times. But you know I look forward to seeing them all grown up and someday married to a special lady. I hope to be close to my daughter-n-laws. I have seen it many times and hope that I can have that. I only felt really disappointed when I found I was having a boy the 3rd time because I had a previous miscarriage that was a girl. But you know boy #3 was a HUGE blessing! He is so cute and loves his older brothers. And we became unexpectedly pregnant when he was 7 months old and boy #4 was conceived. I also can't imagine life without my baby boy. He is such a love!! He loves everyone and he is so sweet. Well we thought we were done and I was very happy with my all boy crew any feelings of disappointment had long ago faded. In fact I became anxious at the thought of having a girl. I worried if I could be any good at dealing with girl stuff. And ladies believe me there is the negative to that too! I would watch my friends adorable little girls who were so cute but man is it ever hard to deal with little girl bossiness or prisiness! I also couldn't stand how long it took for little girls to get over something! I mean they are still upset an hour later ( or more) if someone takes there toy. I don't know what to do with that. Boys get over it much quicker. I have come to the conclusion that raising children is hard no matter what!! Raising either sex has it positive and negatives. You need to just love your child and embrace them. Stop thinking that someone has it easier! Because they probably don't. My husband and I are very excited to be pregnant with #5 but the sex of the child didn't matter. We are happy to have a girl in August but believe me after being immersed in an all boy world I have been nervous about adding a girl. But you know she is our child so I know I will love her. But I have no illusions that life with my little girl will not be all roses! We probably won't meet many of her dates. I mean what boy wants to come meet his dates 4 older brothers and father!? I just love my kids and enjoy watching them grow. They are all stuck on Mommy and I hope it stays that way (at least for awhile). Very Happy
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alrhea



Joined: 11 Jul 2008
Posts: 1

PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 11:26 am    Post subject: Sorry you hate Reply with quote

Hating mothers with girls is pretty strong. My BFF has 2 boys, I have one and 2 girls. Even though we've been BFF for 15 years, the second she had her boy #2, she began to look at me with something close to hate. By then I'd had my 3. What every single mother needs to understand is kids are different, period. My oldest is a girl, but she never just sat in my lap and she hated frilly dresses. She was constantly into things, climbing things, yet I didn't have the luxury of saying "Boys will be boys." People judge a girl acting that way way more harshly.
Every mother is different also, I wanted a boy terribly, long before I had children. When I discovered my 2nd was another girl, I was horribly disappointed and it hurt to go by the boy clothes, the sailor suits, the sweater vests. What I'm trying to say is, Don't catergorize all of us mothers of girls. Because I'm really beginning to hate the mothers of only boys, simply for judging me and my daughters.
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3BOYMOMMY



Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Posts: 119

PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 1:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is a forum for moms of boys to deal with their feelings about just that. It is not a personal attack on mothers of girls and that is very unfair. It is hard to stomach that judgement. If you haven't walked the walk, then you can't talk the talk!! understandable, that a mother of girls might wonder what it is like to have a boy, but if you have both, then please allow the rest of us who do not to enjoy our healthy, happy boys and not feel judged. Really, there is no need to take the moral high road on this one if you simply will never understand what moms of boys go through. This is the exact thing we are trying to avoid.
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3BOYMOMMY



Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Posts: 119

PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 2:00 pm    Post subject: Re: Sorry you hate Reply with quote

[Don't catergorize all of us mothers of girls. Because I'm really beginning to hate the mothers of only boys, simply for judging me and my daughters.[/quote][/quote]


Is anyone else steaming mad about this?
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pepmah78



Joined: 28 May 2008
Posts: 118
Location: Charlotte, NC

PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 4:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm sorry, but I thought this website was called "Moms Of Boys". That was the reason I joined.
As far as the HATE word, yeah I do think it is very strong (maybe too strong) word, it is actually a swear word in our home. But, to make the thread a little more clear. It was actually started not because we HATE the mother, but because of the judgement and the pity that some of these mothers feel they have to throw our way.
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Pepper
Mom of Connor, Parker (PJ) and Sawyer
Loving wife to the Sexy Guy I Married, Monte
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3BOYMOMMY



Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Posts: 119

PostPosted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 9:04 pm    Post subject: Moms of girls on our site Reply with quote

I agree 100 % Pepper! It is for moms of boys and yes, hate is a strong word. This is our safe spot, you know? I just feel like we have been infiltrated. It may sound silly, but this is the place where we feel common ground to speak freely and it is so not the place for someone to get on their soapbox and judge us. I am really irked as that post just really ticked me off! Think it,fine, we are all entitled to our thoughts- but keep it to yourself and don't post it here!
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sharon
Site Admin


Joined: 23 Apr 2005
Posts: 35

PostPosted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 11:40 am    Post subject: Don't take things Reply with quote

The phrase "Hate Mothers of Girls" was written by the poster as a tongue in cheek title after being frustrated with her sons being 'judged' by a mom who only had girls. Moms of Boys understands that the poster did not mean that literally, as would/should anyone who understands the use of tongue-in-cheek statements for the use venting in frustration or of humor (which I use a lot in my writing and have come across one reader out of many who did not 'get' the use of such humor). I developed this site so moms of boys could express such feelings to one another so that their venting would be done in an environment in which others will understand.
If the poster who is upset with feeling judged by moms of boys doesn't understand this and will continue to be upset by this, then I hope she doesn't continue to visit the site. There are lots of moms of girls and boys who have visited the site who understand perfectly the intent of the feelings expressed here. This site is for moms who have all boys and for moms who have children of both genders who need some advice on raising the son/sons. Nobody has ever been upset by this before and the poster who is upset is, I think, over reacting. There are much more politically incorrect sites than this one -- this one is pretty wholesome but deals with honest frustrations.
In my message on my blog, I wanted to point out to moms of boys some of the great stuff on the threads and actually used the words "tongue in cheek" to describe the title of the "Hate Mothers of Girls" post because I KNEW it was said in jest. The person meant SOME mothers of girls sometimes upset them by saying things and told us about the situation, which others had had happen to them too. Nobody said ALL mothers of girls act in a certain way. I understand that the original poster of this thread did not mean any harm to mothers of girls; I sincerely hope the upset poster realizes this.
Again, please do not visit a site if it upsets you; all sites cannot be all things to all people. This site has a specific purpose and emotional venting for moms of boys is one of them.
Thanks,
Sharon O'Donnell
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pepmah78



Joined: 28 May 2008
Posts: 118
Location: Charlotte, NC

PostPosted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 1:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think that sums it up, thank you Sharon!
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Pepper
Mom of Connor, Parker (PJ) and Sawyer
Loving wife to the Sexy Guy I Married, Monte
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3BOYMOMMY



Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Posts: 119

PostPosted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 1:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Sharon!
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OnlyPinkOne



Joined: 15 Jul 2008
Posts: 35
Location: TX

PostPosted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 7:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have 3 boys and can relate to most of these posts. My oldest 2 are teens now though, and once they go through puberty, they CALM down. I've got 4 more years to get my youngest there. I'm totally clueless when it comes to buying girl stuff and hate having to buy girl gifts. I have had friend with all girls who tried to tell me that they make cute boy stuff as well.....Doesn't hold a candle to girl stuff, doncha think? LOL!
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mel



Joined: 13 Nov 2007
Posts: 34
Location: Philadelphia

PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2008 1:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I haven't visited in a while, so I've just caught up on my old thread. I'd like to point out that I didn't actually feel judged by those mothers of girls, it was the *pity* that upset me.

And "hate" was written I believe about 2 months post partum while still struggling to adjust to my new life. Child #2, now 10 months, has really put me through the wringer.

The bottom line is that mothers of girls do not understand the sadness of never having a daughter - nor do they understand the special challenges of raising boys. In my opion, "mother of boys" means mother of ONLY boys. If you have both, you're not one of us. That's my view and I won't apologize for it. It's not about judgement - it's just that other mothers simply can't understand. And finding understanding is the whole nice idea of this site.

It's not good to be the queen, as I've heard some people suggest. It's actually very lonely.
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Granola



Joined: 31 Jan 2007
Posts: 314

PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2008 3:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

...yes, it is lonely. I have three and a husband, thank God!!!!! I have a new grandchild, boy of course, and I have not been with him one second, by myself, or husband, sionce he has been born. He is almost six mothns old. DIL's parents take center stage. I LOVE having boys!!!!! They are my world and I feel so blessed having them. I just wasn't prepared to be in this position when a grandchild was born. I feel like we have supervised vistation rights. Sad They inlaws have kept him over night, babysat him all the time and so many of the "first" have occured with them.
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