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Also mom of 3 boys - 5, 3, 10 months

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Joined: 03 Jul 2008
Posts: 30

PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 12:58 am    Post subject: Also mom of 3 boys - 5, 3, 10 months Reply with quote

Hi ladies!
I can't tell you how much this site has meant to me over the last year. I've visited several times, but this is my first post. My oldest son was born in Boston, 2/03. Over the last 5 years, I have moved 3 times, each major move coinciding with a pregnancy or birth...I don't recommend it! Smile But our youngest is a Jersey boy, born outside of NYC on the Jersey side, our latest move.
This website has literally been such a saving grace...I love my guys. But even our dog is male!!! And I'm the eldest of 4...all girls. So boys have definitely been a new experience.
I gave birth to our youngest last August, 2007.
These are the two all-time worst comments I've heard from other mothers in the last 10 months:
mom of boy in my eldest son's class, at preschool pick-up (she's the mother of 2 boys but got the girl at the end): 1st time we've ever spoken:
Her: "You have three boys?!!!"
Me: "yup, three times blessed" (this was my defense for any negative comments, hoping to preempt them in this case)
Her: "Thank god, I'm not you. I would've killed myself if I'd had 3 boys"
...should I mention that my 3 guys were all standing there with me? And that my 5 year old son later asked me in the car on the way home
"mama, are boys better than girls?"
Scenario 2, at the park this spring,
Mom pushing little boy on swing. I've observed her talking with 2 other boys:
Me: "Oh are you the mom of three boys too?"
Her: "My idea of living hell would be being the mother of 3 boys. I have 2 boys and a girl. The other boy is my neighbor's, thank god."
Me: "Well, I'm the mom of 3 boys and while it has its challenges, it's not hell!"
Both scenarios, I went home and cried. The first was harder as I'd only given birth to my 3rd son 2 weeks before. This spring, it was easier, but still made me angry. Thankfully, only the baby was there to hear her.
I do agree with the other moms, it gets easier. Maybe that's why I haven't posted before now. This last year has been tough with another move while I was very pregnant with two little boys (4 and 2 - with loads of energy) in another new place. But time makes it easier.
I never in a trillion years thought I would have anything but "the perfect family", a boy and a girl. It was important to my husband's family that we have a son to carry on the name. But as a female with three sisters, I just assumed I'd have a daughter. It didn't work out that way...and then some. But I firmly believe that there's a reason why.
I agree with the whole MIL vs Mother thing although in honesty, I'm not close to my own mother at all and my husband and his mother were very, very close until she passed away 2 years ago. So who knows. For the first time, I feel that I'm making the rules up as I go along in a way I might not have if I'd had all girls or maybe even one girl. I still get sad occassionally about not having the "legacy" of a daughter. But as I've read other mothers say many times on this site, I'm passing down hobbies and interests to my children with different expectations. And maybe that isn't such a bad thing.
Anyway, I'm the mother of three boys and it's great to say hello and meet you all!
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Joined: 28 May 2008
Posts: 118
Location: Charlotte, NC

PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 8:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi and welcome! I also have 3 boys that are the same ages as yours. Never a dull moment in our home! When was your 3rd born? My Sawyer was born 8/17. He still isn't crawling but he is really trying to make an effort. I had moved a week before I found out that I was pregnant with DS#3. I can say it was probably one of the hardest things I have done. I think I cried for the entire pregnancy because my family was 14hrs away. My only saving grace were my new neighbors which are now my best friends and mommie and me playgroups. If you ever need to talk or vent we are all just a click away!
Thanks again for introducing yourself and I can't wait to get to know you.
Mom of Connor, Parker (PJ) and Sawyer
Loving wife to the Sexy Guy I Married, Monte
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Joined: 03 Jul 2008
Posts: 30

PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 12:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I went for a bit of a rant last night so thanks for posting!
DS#3, Echlin, was born 8/14 so just days from Sawyer. As for crawling, he just started that this week. We'd taken to calling him the "beached whale". Poor guy!
Thanks again for the warm welcome! I look forward to hearing about your experiences and getting to know you better.
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Tav Mom

Joined: 08 Mar 2008
Posts: 386
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 7:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Welcome! I'm a mom of 3 boys and any day now another.
~Kathy, mom to:
Tarik- 7/08
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Joined: 06 Jul 2008
Posts: 2
Location: Gatorville, Fl

PostPosted: Sun Jul 06, 2008 2:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I loved your post! What is with people assumming that we all want girls or would have rather had them instead of boys??!! I ALWAYS wanted to be a boy mom and couldn't be happier that I am! I met this woman (who was the mother of two girls) for the first time on the 4th of July. She was the friend of a friend and we were all on the beach for the day. It had been a great day, of course there were moments of not sharing and fighting over dump trucks, but nothing out of the ordinary for me! As my family and I were leaving I told her it was nice to meet her and that she had beautiful girls. She said to me, "don't give up hope, you might get lucky and have a girl if you try for a third". I was shocked, for two reasons. One, my 10 year old step-daughter was standing beside me when she said that (what did she think she was??) Two, who said I wasn't lucky giving birth to my boys?? It hurt me so badly that this woman who had just spent 6 hours watching my beautiful, smart, funny and just plain wonderful boys didn't think I was already lucky? What was wrong with her anyway? Mad
Mom to Andrew 4, Nicholas almost 2 (thinks he's 4!) and Step-mom to Olivia 10. Go Gators!
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Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Posts: 119

PostPosted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 1:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Jennie!
We also moved mid having our boys and wow it is exhausting! I don't mean just physically, but more emotionally too. I found it hard to leave the place where my first son was born, the place where I experienced my first attempts at motherhood. It has been a few years and I still get those pangs of homesickness for the old place. Probably just that time in our lives when it was all so new/scary/awesome all at once!
Our boys are age 4 and under and there are 3 of them so it is busy, I just keep reminding myself that this is now and it will change someday and I will miss this business of baby boys!! I hear you about the comments- I cannot believe the things people will say out loud! It really stings, but I may borrow your comment about being blessed - I like that! Some days it is harder than others to hear those words, but I have been trying to not go there to the dark side of the moon, because I don't want to miss a second of what is going on right in front of my eyes. It is especially hard when I am emotionally not in a good place as I have a little guy with special needs. It adds an extra spark to my days..
Hope you are settling in to your new surroundings! Like I was saying, it has been a few years and we still have boxes marked 'stuff' in the garage, so I don't know if you ever get entirely unpacked! best of luck-it will be fun to compare stories!
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