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is my son's aggression really normal for boys??

 
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hanksmommy



Joined: 12 Oct 2010
Posts: 1
Location: Indiana

PostPosted: Tue Oct 12, 2010 5:14 pm    Post subject: is my son's aggression really normal for boys?? Reply with quote

Hi! I'm a new member of MOB and I have a question. I have a 4.5 year old son and a 2 year old son. The oldest has always been very physical and rough. He is very tall for his age and very muscular. Since my youngest turned 1 and started to walk, he has been very rough with him. He often picks on him, pushes him, knocks him over, etc... almost as if he is asserting his dominance over him. He is a bit rough in his play with others (girls and boys) in his preschool, as I've been told by his teacher, but nothing like how he acts with his brother. Everyone who has boys tell me "he's just a boy," but moms who have girls and/or boys really notice his behavior and are a little concerned. I am scared my youngest will be aggressive, too, as a result of constantly being bullied. So to all you MOBs out there...do you deal with this, too?? I would value any suggestions! I lose my patience with him sometimes and I can't trust him alone with his little brother. Is this really "normal?"
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Granola



Joined: 31 Jan 2007
Posts: 314

PostPosted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 7:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

...no, the phrase, "boys will be boys" doesn't cut it with me. My opnion is that some consuling would be in order. Find out where the aggression is coming from. Good luck sweetie.
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koolmom



Joined: 20 Oct 2010
Posts: 3
Location: Canada

PostPosted: Thu Oct 21, 2010 12:02 am    Post subject: Wow Reply with quote

This is exactly why I came on here tonite! I have 4 boys and they have been so angry lately and are really testing me as the mom! I can relate to your worry (((hugs)))

So my first suggestion is to talk to him about his school. Just questions about the kids in his class, like, "So how are the kids in your class? Are they nice?" etc to get him talking. While I do believe that the expression "Boys will be boys" is applicable to some things about a boys behavior, it is used by so many who do not understand how to "read" boys as an excuse for their aggressive behavior and is not always the best advice people offer to us MOB's Neutral

My experience with one of my guys was similar, and it turned out he was being bullied. Just a bigger kid being rough, pushing, grabbing and creating a general sense of powerlessness for my son and thus, he treated his brothers the exact same way until we realized what was going on. It was a simple identification of the problem and a simple little chat with the teacher that nipped that one in butt real fast Wink So this may be what's happening with your little guy. Best of luck and hope that helps Very Happy
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Tav Mom



Joined: 08 Mar 2008
Posts: 386
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Thu Dec 23, 2010 11:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

We have only one rule in our house and that is RESPECT for each other. That means physically and emotionally. It seems to be making sense to the boys. We have a pretty non-mainstream life. We unschool (http://www.unschooling.com/library/faq/index.shtml) the boys. So, they have lots of freedom with which to do things. And life seems to be pretty good with the way we live.
I've noticed though, that with my almost 7 year old that when he gets hungry he gets very aggressive and depressed. It's almost like Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. So, I've got to make sure he eats often. [/url]
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Connor-4/02
Aiden-1/04
Keegan-7/06
Tarik- 7/08
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christalmargaret



Joined: 09 Jan 2011
Posts: 3
Location: Alberta Canada

PostPosted: Sun Jan 09, 2011 2:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My 2 year old is really agressive as well and sometimes it worries me especially since we are going to have a baby in April. So far hes nice and gentle with girls and anyone smaller then him but once he sees other boys his size its like something kicks in and he has to stake his territory and Im confused about what to do about it
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Granola



Joined: 31 Jan 2007
Posts: 314

PostPosted: Mon Jan 10, 2011 9:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

...I"m with Tax on this. Respect is the word. It may take a lot of time and patinece but you can do it. Boys tend to be rougher, hello? LOL!!!!! But they can learn proper, respectful, behavior. With my three, we never had a physcial fight among them, it was not allowed and they knew it. I would not tolerate any form of disrespect. They are all grown now and VERY close. That makes me so happy! I know you are looking forward to new little one!! Smile As old as I am, I miss being pregnant, however, the thought of having another strikes fear in my heart, LOL!!!!!!!
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