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Overwhelmed

 
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KatieLady



Joined: 30 Oct 2011
Posts: 1
Location: NJ

PostPosted: Sun Oct 30, 2011 9:34 pm    Post subject: Overwhelmed Reply with quote

Hi. I'm a mom of two boys. I'm pregnant with my unexpected third. All 3 boys will be 16 months apart, so I will have 3 under 3 (all very painful C-sections). I was really hoping for a girl. I know it sounds selfish, but I have no girl friends. I work full-time as a high school science teacher and I do not have my own classroom, so I literally run around the school all day. I'll have to go back to work when the baby is around 6 weeks after a c-section and I'll be harassed again because I pump and need a space to pump. My husband will not entertain the idea of me staying home. I alone cook and clean, get the kids up and dressed and put to bed. Husband will also not pay for a cleaning person to help me out once a month. I am feeling so tired and overwhelmed. Does anyone else here work full time? Please offer some advice.
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sharon
Site Admin


Joined: 23 Apr 2005
Posts: 35

PostPosted: Wed Nov 02, 2011 12:52 am    Post subject: Overwhelmed Reply with quote

Wow, you do really sound overwhelmed and exhausted. I don't know how you can possibly teach (which is so tiring and draining -- done it before) and do everything at home. Sounds like you can't talk to your husband at all. I've found that going to a counselor (both of you together) and talking about the marriage, your feelings, expectations, etc. can be helpful because a third party gives validation to your feelings. Sure, it's another expense, but I've found it's well worth it to pay a hundred bucks an hour every now and then to feel validated and to have a third party express my feelings to my husband in a way that might reach him more than I've been able to do. Would your husband go with you to a counselor?

And if you are teaching and making money, why can't you decide to hire a maid service to come in once a month to do the heavy cleaning? It's not just his money, and you know what you need mentally, physically, and emotionally. Sometimes, a cleaning service is not a luxury but a necessity.

Hang in there.
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Tav Mom



Joined: 08 Mar 2008
Posts: 386
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Thu Nov 10, 2011 12:46 am    Post subject: Re: Overwhelmed Reply with quote

sharon wrote:
Wow, you do really sound overwhelmed and exhausted. I don't know how you can possibly teach (which is so tiring and draining -- done it before) and do everything at home. Sounds like you can't talk to your husband at all. I've found that going to a counselor (both of you together) and talking about the marriage, your feelings, expectations, etc. can be helpful because a third party gives validation to your feelings. Sure, it's another expense, but I've found it's well worth it to pay a hundred bucks an hour every now and then to feel validated and to have a third party express my feelings to my husband in a way that might reach him more than I've been able to do. Would your husband go with you to a counselor?

And if you are teaching and making money, why can't you decide to hire a maid service to come in once a month to do the heavy cleaning? It's not just his money, and you know what you need mentally, physically, and emotionally. Sometimes, a cleaning service is not a luxury but a necessity.

Hang in there.


I could not have said it better!! Good luck and keep posting here. It really really does help!
_________________
~Kathy, mom to:
Connor-4/02
Aiden-1/04
Keegan-7/06
Tarik- 7/08
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