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New here & just thought of something troubling...

 
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Alimar



Joined: 14 Sep 2006
Posts: 5

PostPosted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 1:55 am    Post subject: New here & just thought of something troubling... Reply with quote

Hi, everyone. I am a mom of two boys, ages 8 & 5, and am expecting again. I found out today that my third (and last!) baby will also be a boy. The name is still up in the air!

I kind of dealt with the never-having-a-girl disappointment 5 years ago, so I'm not all that upset it's not a girl (even though I was SURE it was until a few weeks ago and already bought 4 girl outfits!), but I just realized that my mother is the only close female in my life, and she's not getting any younger! (Mid-60s.) I am very close to my mother, but I don't have any sisters or even any really close female friends. I have a lot of online female friends, or acquaintances in real life, but no friends to call up on the phone and just chat. I don't even have female relatives like nieces...just one brother who is single and lives across the country anyway. So if I'm not having a girl...then when my mother is gone, I may end up with no females to really talk to! That just makes me want to cry. My mother is 1300 miles away right now, but I still talk to her all the time on the phone. I just always thought I'd have a girl to talk to like that someday, and now it may be just me alone. (My DH pretty much *never* calls his mom! In fact, I'm not sure he ever calls her when it's not calling her back, and then they only talk for about 5 minutes. And he only sees her in person about once every 3 years!)
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Alison
Mom of Ryan - 8, Kyle - 5, & boy #3 due 2/2/2007!
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RyanKyleSammom



Joined: 06 Apr 2006
Posts: 5
Location: Lexington, KY

PostPosted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 8:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

OK, it's me from the other post with the Ryan and Kyle! You won't believe this either--your due date is so close to my third boy! Samuel (Sam) was born on 2/3/06!

I have a similar situation. No girls to speak of. I have one brother who has two boys. I have three boys. My husband has one brother. So it is hard to think about and I think I just try to ignore it or hope that I will get what I need emotionally from female friends, church, etc. It's scary to thik abotu though. My mother is the same age as yours.

The truth is that I never experienced the let down of not havign a girl, though people think I must be fibbing. We did not find out the sex of #1 so it wa sjust a surprise. When he was a boy, I really wanted a same sex sib so that was fine too. #3 was a bit of a surprise gift so we didn't care only that he was healthy. However, since we are all boys everywhere, everyone else was pulling for a girl so that was hard for me to have people feel let down.

People tell us mothers of boys that we will have no one to talk to and that boys just grow up and leave their moms. My dream is that if we foster a good relationship from the get go, that will will have boys who want to have relationships with their parents. Am I dreaming? I truly believe in my heart that if I work at it now, they will be close later?!?!?
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Alimar



Joined: 14 Sep 2006
Posts: 5

PostPosted: Mon Sep 18, 2006 11:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, looking at my DH's mother gives me little hope... She has 3 grown sons & 1 grown daughter. The only one who is really involved in her life is her daughter. Just last night I was telling my DH it disheartened me how little he kept in contact with his mother. He said "Well, we communicate through e-mail a lot." Turns out that meant that she sends him little e-mail forwards a lot, but he hardly ever writes back!

But my own brother and mother are close. I don't think they are close in the same way she and I are--and he never visits (lives in another state & hasn't gone home in about 6 years!)--but they talk on the phone at least once a week. However, he is still single so it might be different if he was married!

My dad also has two half-siblings around my age, one brother & one sister. I think his brother is actually closer to his mother than his sister is. I don't think they sit around having heart-to-heart chats or anything, but he lives nearby and still visits with his family at least once a week, sometimes more, and helps out his parents who are in their 80s now. So my step-grandmother has also been very involved in the lives of her grandchildren, and in fact more involved in the lives of her son's kids than her daughter's (especially since her daughter lived across the country for quite a while and her son has never moved away).

I'm not really girly anyway and I'm glad to not have to deal with combing out tangled hair every day or things like Bratz dolls...but I still think I'll miss the girl thing to some degree.
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Alison
Mom of Ryan - 8, Kyle - 5, & boy #3 due 2/2/2007!
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